I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
