I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
