I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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