It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
