it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
