Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
