i was rollin on her like bob the builder
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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