my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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