had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
