I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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