She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize