Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize