I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
