i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
