Sry I called you an 8
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
