Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
