in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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