Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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