so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
