I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
