my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
