Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
