Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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