It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
