Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he was CRYING into my vagina
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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