giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
