Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
