you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
