why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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