this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
