So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
