Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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