i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
bring money and cleavage
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
