I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
