Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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