Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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