i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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