i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
