We're like a lot better than the average bears
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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