i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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