I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
