How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
