Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
