I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
