haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
