can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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