I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
