Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
