My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
