So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize