Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Randomize
