I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
