She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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