oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
