just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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