Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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