actually, I'm a sock model
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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