ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You ate ashes out of my bong
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
