yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize