Why are handjobs necessary in class?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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