i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
