I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
