she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
