i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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