Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
