So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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