No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize