i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
