Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize