He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
