I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
