Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
