I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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